Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 18 - The Champion

TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 18 - The Champion

 

Tau 

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Tau

You’re listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way, we’re just big ol’ nerds making improv fanfiction. 

 

ROGUE RUNNERS is...rated R, for pretty much everything you can find in Greek Mythology: violence, assault, self-harm, offensive language, insensitive humor, and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at Whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.

 

[SFX: Intro music.]


Tau 

You arrive in the shop room. So you see a casket with various layers laid out over it. I will tell you what those are now. So you can get a hollow granite for 75 obols, you can get 30 gemstones for 50 obols, you can get a centaur heart for 100 obols, you can get 50 darkness for 75 obols, you can get fries and a burger for 25 obols, you can get a Cthonic key for 100 obols, and you can get a Dedalus hammer for 150. Also there is a giant purple ferryman next to it.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh, Charon's here. Hello Charon."

 

 [SFX: A low rumbling growl from Charon.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

"25 obols for a burger and fries? That's outrageous. Where are we California?"

 

Tau 

I was gonna say, a movie theater.

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"How are you doing friend? Hello."

 

[SFX: A low rasping breath in response.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"You wouldn't, I mean, you've seen the crazy stuff going on. You wouldn't be able to, you know, ferry us on out of here or anything?"

 

Tau 

Okay, make an insight check as he says (low rumbling rasp).

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That's a 16.

 

Tau 

It seems inscrutable to you.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Okay, well.

 

Michael (Arete) 

I would like to roll an investigation to see if there's any money lying around the room.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Oh, no.

 

Tau 

Okay, roll. Yeah, please roll for it.

 

Michael (Arete) 

A 17.

 

Tau 

You do not see any money lying around the room.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Great.

 

Tau 

Except maybe except maybe jangling in his many pockets...

 

Michael (Arete) 

Ha ha, no.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Don't."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I'm not doing that."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Dooon't."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Arete, you are quite stealthful."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I am keeper of the purse here and that we've got 120 obols to spend."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Nooo..."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Little sleight of hand maybe?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(whispering) "Alex!"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"No, Alexander. I am a reformed thief. I will not be doing that today."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"He is a gods fearing Grecian, I see."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Hello Arete..."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Hi."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I meant like a thieves anonymous.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughing) Oh.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Reformed thieves. "Who does a sorcerer I have to kill to get a nice puffin around here?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

Oh my word.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(laughs)

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"You eat puffin?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"You know, a puffin. It's a flightless bird."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"No, it can fly."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"It can?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Can they?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yes."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Oh."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"We could get a pomegranate and a burger. And then if there's something else that's worth 20 obols, we could get that as well."

 

Tau 

(poking fun) Meanwhile, the other two Olympiads have broken out of the Underworld and are now living, fulfilling lives. (laughs)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

We're still deciding what to order at Wendy's. The Titans just eat us alive.

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Let's get the burger."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Look. Yeah, we can I definitely think the burger is a wise choice. Problem is of course--"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"But it's for one person. Th-- yeah."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Who's like in the worst shape?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

I think Erica and I are both in the same..."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"We're both sitting pretty at 18."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"That's pretty rough bros."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"I know. Out of 79 That's, that's not very cute."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"That's kind of cute."

 

Michael (Arete) 

So I'll turn to him and I'll go "One pomegranate please." And I hand over 75 of the obols.

 

Tau 

He collects the obols and the pomegranate floats over to you.

 

[SFX: Bright chime followed by Charon's low growl.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Thank you."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(makes a raspy throat sound to Charon)

 

Tau 

Make an insight check.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

You offended him.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

No! It was it was, it was supposed to be saying thank you back. Just, you know, I promised it was a friendly...

 

Michael (Arete) 

I was a friendly bleeggghhh.

 

Tau 

It seemed like you were making fun of his speech impediment.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

NO!!! It's a 29.

 

Tau 

(laughs) Well, then now you know for sure.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Noo. "Charon, I'm sorry, Charon. That's not what I meant. I just I was trying to you know, I-I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Geez, Annie. Be a little sensitive."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Shut up, Rolf."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I, uh, Charon, I have a question. Are you looking to franchise? Can... I see I see a great opportunity for you here. If we can, perhaps take the last of our obols and invest in a franchise... um, I think we'll both--"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(laughing) Can I buy Charon stock?

 

 [SFX: Charon growls a response.]

 

Tau 

Uh, make an insight check.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

That was a groan of confusion I believe.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Oh my insight! (laughs) My check was a four.

 

Tau 

Okay, this this becomes just like a simulator...

 

 [SFX: Phones ring, a receipt machine chirps, bells ding.]

 

Tau 

...for like, profit in the Underworld. It's like a tycoon game essentially.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf starts running the numbers and he just says "Charon to the moon."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"We must keep our diamond hands on this stock."

 

Tau 

Okay, so with a four, you are not able to make out his answer.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"But if if we don't invest in the Charon stock, how will we ever get our tendies?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Okay, okay."

 

Tau 

Meanwhile Adonis has found a wife and has has children.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Nooo!

 

Tau 

They have grown old and died and come to the Underworld.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Alright, shall we divide up this delicious pom?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I think we shall."

 

[SFX: A wet splitting sound.]

 

Tau 

All right, what boon do you want to power up?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(chewing thoughtfully) "I think Ares."

 

Tau 

The auto injector is obviously not-- actually. Tell me if this is an interesting use of the pom. What about the pomegranate, like refilling the auto injector?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yes.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Mhmm. Yes. That would probably.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

I like it.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yes.

 

Tau 

Okay. It doesn't power it up, though.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

It just brings it back.

 

Tau 

It just brings it back. What are your thoughts on that?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I would be inclined to go with that, yes.

 

Tau 

Okay, then let's do that. Hephaestus is the fucking shit, dude.

 

Michael (Arete) 

God has spoken!

 

Tau 

Oh, that is not me. That is not me telling you what to do. I'm just like, damn, I thought it's a cool thing.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"All right. Okay. Hephaestus it is. Hephaestus, this I give you this pom."

 

Tau 

You hear this kind of like bubbling noise...

 

[SFX: Watery bubbling.]

 

Tau 

...as your adrenaline auto injectors suddenly refill when you consume the pomegranate. They fill up with like Pom Juice. Like it has the P and then the heart and then the M.

 

Michael (Arete) 

The syringe changes shape to the to the little spherical bottle.

 

Tau 

Yeah, those like weird, like, butt plug bottles that they've got.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

And then in very small letters, it says "Not a sponsor."

 

Tau 

Also, not real pomegranate juice.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"We still have 45 obols to spend, if we want it."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I think the only thing we can afford is the food. Yes?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Kids meal for the child, yes?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Hey!"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Yes, I think so."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"All right. Eat up. Charon, do we get a little doll with it? Let's say of you, maybe?"

 

Tau 

Um, so for 50 obols, you can do a happy meal. But unfortunately, you're just short.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

What.

 

Tau 

And costs a little more

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

God damnit. A Hatey meal.

 

Tau 

Yeah. (laughs) I like that.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"All right. How much blood do I have to sacrifice?"

 

Tau 

(Charon voice) "Everything" Suddenly he says the first word he's ever spoken.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"All right. So 25 obols for a lovely burger and fries."

 

Tau 

All right. Yeah. So you get the burger and fries. Please subtract that from your obol count.

 

Michael (Arete) 

I have done so.

 

Tau 

So who's eating it?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"The child."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Okay."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Do you mind if I just smell the fry?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Um..."

 

Tau 

That's extra.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Oh, I just got 80 calories from the smell alone."

 

Tau 

Yeah, they're like really, really good fries. Like they're clearly like reusing the oil that they used for the chicken tenders.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Oooo, yes!

 

Tau 

You can like smell the sodium coming off of them

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I feel myself growing stronger."

 

Tau 

Oh, hold on. Hold on. This isn't Popeye's it's just Mickey D's.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

It's just Mickey D's. Ha ha.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Hey, Mickey D's. Its McHades.

  

[SFX: Crickets chirp at the joke.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(McDonalds theme) Ba ba ba ba ba.

 

Tau 

Okay, I get it. That was good.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(Wheeze laughing) Everyone just said fuck you.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

And I'm fired.

 

Tau 

And Arete is the Hamburglar.

 

Michael (Arete) 

As Annie goes to take the last bite of her burger, Arete just, after hearing the Hamburglar bit, just reaches over and just pulls it from her mouth just before she's able to eat it and eats it himself.

 

 [SFX: A juicy chomp.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Well, Charon, it was a pleasure to see you. Please think about the franchising opportunity I brought up and we'll get back to you next time with our offer."

 

[SFX: Charon lets out a low rumbling growl.]

 

Tau 

Make an insight check.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Ugh. A seven.

 

Tau 

Okay, it seems inscrutable to you.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Thanks. And Arete will head towards the door and wait patiently for the rest of the Olympiad.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Thank you for the food Charon."

 

 [SFX: Charon rasps.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Very yummy."

 

Tau 

Also, you have two choices when you're exiting. You have a gate which has obols on it and a gate which has a pomegranate on it.

 

Tau 

(to the Karma Chameleon tune) Poma Poma, Poma Poma Poma (struggles) P-p-poma pameleoooon. (hums) Yo-you...

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Are you working on a new composition?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I think your infernal arm is out of tune, there. You need to--"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Whoa whoa, back up, buddy."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Uh oh, I'm going in the portal!"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Pom it up!" and Annie is gonna smack that pom.

 

Michael (Arete) 

And Arete's hand was up so when she said smack that pom, she she smacked Arete's hand.

 

[SFX: Smack!]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

 Oh my god.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Can I please go in the portal?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

(laughs)

 

Tau 

We are all jokes today.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(sighs, amused)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Do it already and I can go in!

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie would like to--

 

Tau 

Yeah the gate, yeah all right.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Did I not?

 

Tau 

Yeah, the gate slides up.

 

[SFX: Scrape of metal and stone.]

 

Tau 

You smell a pomegranate through the gate.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I dive in.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Getting 10 points.

 

Tau 

Oh wow. Alexander is the first, that has never happened.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete, smelling the scent of the pomegranate as as the as the (laughs) the scent of the pomegranate wafts towards him, he sees a finger form where the smoke...

 

 [SFX: Ethereal musical notes.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

...and of the smell of the pomegranate is beckoning him into the portal and he is levitated off the ground as he's dragged in the portal by the smell of the pomegranate.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(laughing) What. Fucking pomegrante would smell like a baked pie that....

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Tau 

He's trying to manifest like a super pomegranate and it's not going to happen. What do  the rest of you do?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Ummmm. I mean....

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Rolf puts his heels on and walks in.

 

Tau 

It's a competition now, every time you have go through a game it has to be like more outrageous.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(Wheeze laughing) It's fucking--

 

Michael (Arete) 

(laughs)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf says "Keep it tight, Charon, baby!" and finger guns as he walks into the--

 

Michael (Arete) 

Category is...

 

Michael (Arete) 

Realists.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Into the portal.

 

Tau 

(In betweem laughter) Three episodes, three episodes from now, everybody's gonna be voguing into the portal.

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

Tau 

(catches breath) It's like a fucking Axe commercial where now everybody has to vogue through the portal. (takes a breath) Sorry, Annie, what's up with you?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's gonna look at the portal and then look back at Charon. Gag a little bit.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

What?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

And then vomit.

 

Tau 

What?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

And then vomit.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

WHAT?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

And then she's gonna say, "Oh,"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

You just--

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"I'm a vegetarian. I'm sorry."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

You just threw up your whole Happy Meal.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughing) And she's gonna jump in the portal.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Tau 

Oh my G--

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

What about all your health?

 

Tau 

That is truly wild. Everybody's improv game is so on another level today. All right.

 

Tau 

All right, you all went into the portal eventually. You find yourself in a room, like many in Tartarus, where three walls are fairly normal craft green tile. However, one dimension of it, so the fourth wall, instead is a very very long staircase...

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Thank youuu!

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasps)

 

Tau 

...that is shattered by a massive boulder which has rolled all the way to the bottom of it. And at it stands a very bulky, sandy blonde man with a giant shackle around his waist and around his massive arms. And he kind of just stands with his hands on his hips squarely with his feet wide apart, very proudly at this boulder that has rolled all the way down.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Nick, its you in college.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Ohh!

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Sisyphus, my boy! How are you?!"

 

Tau 

(in a light, echoey voice) "Oh. Hello young master Rolf."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Pleasure to see you. How's Bouldy?"

 

Tau 

"Oh, he's doing pretty well these days. You know, keeping himself rather spherical."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Friends, have you have you all had the pleasure to meet Sisyphus?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Have you met this man? Being from where you hail from?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah. Sisyphus and I go way back, isn't that right?"

 

Tau 

"...Yes."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(snort of laughter)

 

Tau & Players 

(laugh)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yes and! And it was great.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I... I believe I've heard tell of you Sisyphus. But I have not had the pleasure of meeting you in person before so hello."

 

Tau 

"Oh, well, it's a right pleasure to make your acquaintance."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Well it's a, it's a left pleasure to make yours."

 

Tau 

You hear a unsettling chuckle from the boulder.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Whaaat.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Hi Sisyphus! Hello."

 

Tau 

"Hello Annie. Oh. And who might this person be?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"This guy? This guy! This guy's Alex. Alex, Sisyphus. Sisyphus, Alex. I feel like you too are, uh..."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yes.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Tall and kind of brooding. I think you might get along a little bit."

 

Tau 

"Oh, I'd hate for you to think that I'm the brooding type."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Well, you know, sometimes it's it's I don't think it's I don't think it's intentional. I think sometimes it's just your face. But that's that's okay."

 

Tau 

Ah, okay.

 

Michael (Arete) 

You just have one of those faces.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I have to admit, given your situation, I would assume your attitude would be much more sour. But you seem to be doing all right."

 

Tau 

"Well, what would you say is my situation, young master?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Well, every all your efforts are for naught every day. You do the same thing over and over and..."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Sounds familiar," as Arete kind of just stares into the medium distance as he thinks about all the times that they've died recently.

 

Tau 

"Well, you know, every single time I push this boulder up, it's just a tiny bit different than the time before it."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Explain."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(like a Dalek from Doctor Who) "Explain! Explain!"

 

Tau 

"Well."

 

Tau 

"Sometimes it's quite a bit more dangerous than I would like, sometimes I find myself starting over feeling really frustrated or just wanting to stab someone. But I don't."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(groans)

 

Michael (Arete) 

"And you know that that's a sign of a great person, not acting on those urges. And you know, we can all learn a little something from that. I think."

 

Tau 

"Some days, it's really hot. Other days, it's really, really cold, like it was just a little while ago. Other times, various deities like to visit me and give me their booze. Though not often. I think they don't like me very much."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"You know, Sisyphus. When I first met you, when I first arrived--"

 

Tau 

"Oh yes, why don't you remind me of that time? Because I actually am having trouble remembering." (laughs)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh! I understand. You must see a lot of people passing through here. You see, before I found my place in the House of Hades in the lounge, I was kind of lost in the bowels of Tartarus for a very brief period. And I remember I met you and much like Alexander, I didn't quite understand how you could have such a positive disposition given your your endless task. But you know, given the recent events, I kind of, I've come to appreciate your positive outlook. And I want to thank you for giving me that wisdom, which took me time to accept."

 

Tau 

"I'm happy that my punishment was of some edification for you, my prince. But I should let you know that this is no endless task whatsoever. I choose to do it. Lord, Zagreus freed me many years ago. But I choose to stay here."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh, really?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Interesting. And why is that?"

 

Tau 

"Well, sometimes even if other people decide that you're no longer responsible for something, it doesn't mean that you're not. And this is a way for me to meditate on that and reflect on it and keep bettering myself."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"You feel you still deserve the punishment?"

 

Tau 

"Hm. That's a really good question. Does anybody ever stopped deserving it?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I'd assume, at some point, once that punishment is served after a certain time..."

 

Tau 

"How long is that?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I suppose how long you think it should go on for?"

 

Tau 

"Is it up to me?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"It could depending on your morality, if you think you've done wrong, and you deserve to be punished."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I think frequently people are punished by a jury of their peers."

 

Tau 

"Do you always let people decide punishments for themselves? Or let their peers do it?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"You know, these are all very deep philosophical questions. And I I'm not sure I have all the answers, but to take a stab at it, so to speak, um---"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(joking) And he stabs Sisyphus.

 

Michael (Arete) 

(laughs) "I think it's more about the, the reformation of one's character that you find along the way, and the deep philosophical mysteries that we learn about each other. In the times that we are together."

 

Tau 

"Let me ask you this question. If you all had all eternity to do anything you wanted, what would it be?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I think I'd say watch Netflix because there's so many things on there that I just feel I would need an eternity to get through it all."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Well, surely I would do something else, I would be bored of the same task over and over."

 

Tau 

"Well, Lord Zagreus has given me the freedom to choose what I want to do with my eternity. Are you free to do what you want to do with your eternity?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Not entirely but I, I have more choices than a single task. And if I were in your shoes, if there was no shackles metaphorically and physically, I don't think I would be pushing that boulder up every day."

 

Tau 

"Hm." Make an insight check.

 

Michael (Arete)  

I rolled a 19

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I got 15, Rolf gets 15 as well.

 

Tau 

Who got the 19?

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete.

 

Tau 

It is very, very hard to perceive this because Sisyphus is actually kind of unflaggingly earnest and cheerful most of the time, but you get the vaguest sense that he's actually quite disappointed in your answer. "Well, I hope you do well, on your journey, wherever it takes you and find something to do with that eternity. Why don't I help you along the way? Care for some darkness? Obols? Or perhaps a little healing?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasps)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"We were actually expecting a pomegranate."

 

Tau 

"Oh, that's just over there." He points to the pomegranate.

 

 

[SFX: Bright chime.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Ah."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Wait."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Wonderful. Not to be ungrateful."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I'd love some healing."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Yeah, I would we I don't want to sound greedy or anything but would we be able to accept both the pom and your, uh, gift?"

 

Tau 

"That pom just appeared there. I had nothing to do with it. So it's all yours as far as I'm concerned."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Okay."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Would you like some?"

 

Tau 

"No, thanks."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Okay."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I think the prison Since that we mostly create our prisons of the mind that we kind of create for ourselves. We, we trap ourselves in, in, in our own thoughts, a lot of the time and prisons that are of our own creation are far more damaging to our soul and spirit than any sort of prison that could be created by others."

 

Tau 

Sisyphus places his one large, massive hand on the Boulder, and he looks at it lovingly. And he says, "Whatever you decide to do with your freedom, I hope you do actually spend it with your longest and most beloved friend, like I've been lucky to do."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Aw, that's so sweet."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Now, it's all coming together."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I suppose I must ask, Sisyphus. Besides Bouldy, of course, I of course, agree that, you know, we, as people kind of inherently do harm to each other at one time or another. And certainly, there can be a sense of retribution, maybe in the idea of punishment. But, for example, in your case, right? The idea of this reflection, I think, is a very powerful thing for one to explore and undertake, but at what point... um, and that's not to say, of course, you can change your mind I you... but at the moment, since you've chosen to stay here, at what point does the self reflection... diminish in returns? Right? I don't know that you can ever become undeserving of the punishment you've been given. But when it's served its purpose perhaps, you can produce a greater good at large by applying what you have learned and trying to help others. Of course, it's hard to help others if you've not helped yourself, but it seems to me like you've certainly grown quite wise."

 

Tau 

"Well master Rolf, I think your idea of punishment is something that pulls you away from however you were living before and is eventually something that you're returned to. But I would suggest to you is that perhaps punishment introduces a new way of living altogether."

 

Tau 

"I do love these chats, Lord Zagreus used to come through here all the time. And for a very long time, he was the only company I had. You know, besides the Furies and there whips of course. I don't know what you'll find ahead but I assure you it will be very punishing whether you deserve it or not. So I hope you managed to find some satisfaction in it regardless."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(contemplative) "Hm."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Wow. Yep. Yep. I have no doubt that you are right."

 

Tau 

"Obols? Darkness? Healing?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I think some healing would help reduce the the harsher effects of the punishment."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Yes, please."

 

Tau 

He reaches into his pockets and pulls out four vials with dark red liquid in them.

 

[SFX: Bright chime and gently sloshing liquid.]

 

Tau 

And offers them to you.

 

Michael (Arete) 

And I take one of the vials, "Why thank you very much."

 

Tau 

"You're very welcome."

 

Michael (Arete) 

I assume there's like a stopper in it so Arete will pop the stopper...

 

 [SFX: POP!]

 

Michael (Arete) 

...and say "Bottoms up."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's gonna do the same.

 

[SFX: POP, swish.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yep, same.

 

 [SFX: POP, swish.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Opa!

  

[SFX: POP, swish.]

 

Tau 

Everybody restores 15 hit points.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yay!!

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Wee!

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Hellooo.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Sisyphus, ma boy! Feeling good.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I'm feeling great."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Like I should.

 

Tau 

"Well, I best get back to my old friend then. Take care!" And then he starts pushing the massive boulder up. And everybody make a perception check.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Five.

 

Michael (Arete) 

A three.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(disappointed) Ooo. A 12.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

21.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Wow.

 

Tau 

Alexander, as Sisyphus pushes this boulder and begins rolling it up the shattered steps, you see along the various cracks and lines and holes and small craters in the boulder, you make out something that you are almost certain is like an arrangement of holes and grooves in the shape of a small face. And then yep, he's just rolling up.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I hate to see him go."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I hate to see them go."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(laughing) But I love to watch them leave.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Love to watch him walk away.

 

Tau 

His dummy buttocks are clenching as he pushes this boulder. More like Thicc-yphus, am I right?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Ummmmm.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Sisy-Thicc.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete blushes and looks away and--

 

Tau 

Bracing three boulders going up a hill.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs) That's funny.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete after turning away, while blushing will rush to the pom, pull out his dagger, and chop it into four...

 

[SFX: Wet slices.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

...and hand out the pieces to everyone.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Thank you!" Annie's gonna grab it.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Ares is now a... heroic level boon.

 

[SFX: A magical woosh as the boon changes.]

 

Tau 

You see a singular portal with a golden feather on it.

  

[SFX: Scrape of stone and metal.]

 

Tau 

It slides up and there is a portal in front of you.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie walks into the portal.

  

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf falls but he falls into the portal

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete kind of just falls backward.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Alexander will pogo on his sword into the portal.


[SFX: Click and creak of the pogo spring. Then, portal SWOOSH.]

 

Tau 

I love that. Okay, Alexander gets inspiration.

 

 

[SFX: DING.]

 

Tau 

You arrive in a chamber that seems to be in progress so, you know how like every time you kind of go into a chamber it's always like a new chamber? This one seems to be a chamber that's like already in the middle of going.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Oh.

 

Tau 

So what you see as you see that survival sundial in the middle again. You see a bunch of Wretched Shades attacking somebody in the center of the room. You can't get a very good view at him because the things that are surrounding him are Wretched Gentry so they're really big. So you can't really see what he looks like a whole lot yet. But you get kind of glimpses as these things are beating up on him. What do you do?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Whose turn is it?

 

Tau 

Well, if you want to jump in and fight, you can roll initiative.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Oh, I definitely I want to cast thunder wave carefully and try and clear up whoever is in the center.

 

Tau 

So okay, so then we will roll initiative. Basically, I wanted to make sure that you want to actually get involved with this because if you wanted to say you know, we wait it out then you could also wait it out.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"That would be really cruel to that poor person. And--"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Well."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"We're not cruel, right guys?" And Arete kind of looks at everybody like, are we? Is this what we want?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

:We also don't know who it is in the middle. Technically."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"What if it's Zagreus?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

Do we see any of the witches?

 

[SFX: Curious witchy piano notes.]

 

Tau 

No.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, great. Then I'm fine with jumping into the fray. Are we rolling initiative team?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah, I think so.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Alrighty. Oh, wow. I rolled a natural 20. That's nice. 22 for Arete's initiative.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie got a 22 too!

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Nine for Rolf.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Five.

 

Tau 

All right, we begin with Annie.


[SFX: Energetic bass notes come in, indicating the fight ahead.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah!

 

Tau 

You see eight Wretched Gentry in the middle of the row.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Hooo, eight?

 

Tau 

Yes.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

I'll make a perception check to try and figure out who's in the middle so I can at least tell the rest of the group.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

That's an eight.

 

Tau 

You see some really cool looking armor, but it's hard to otherwise make out much with the Wretched Gentry in the way. What you do recognize about the armor is it seems kind of a little more futuristic. So kind of more like the armor that you saw in like Hephaestus' like atalier a little bit.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

It's Buzz Lightyear!

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"From what I can tell, the person in the middle is wearing some kind of armor, looks a little... advanced. I don't I've never really seen anything like it. So I really can't place that at the moment."

 

Michael (Arete) 

So I've drawn La Voix.

 

[SFX: Metal scrapes as he draws.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

Sneak up behind one of the Wretched Gentries and I'm going to stab one in the back.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Michael (Arete) 

And as I do so I whisper "Ares, aid this conquest."

 

Tau 

Nice.

 

Michael (Arete) 

34 damage.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(gasp)

 

Tau 

So you managed to stab into one and then you feel the needles in your hilt kind of press into your palm a little bit. You feel a tiny little bit of pain but not enough to do damage. But then the doll glows and also the Wretched Gentry next to it also gets hit. So you hit one Wretched Gentry, but two of them are taking hits.

 

[SFX: A wet SLASH.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

And then I will use my bonus action to dash. "Poseidon, aid my feet!" And as Arete goes to sprint at one of the nearby Gentry, a wave crests and it carries him, pushing the gentry away from the poor soul that is in the middle. Hopefully that is what occurs but we'll see what the DM allows.


[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

Alright, so you managed to shove away... two of the Wretched Gentry. So they've been pushed off about 10 feet.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Nice.

 

Tau 

Six of them are going to attempt to kill the man in the middle.


[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Whoa, he is... shit.

 

Tau 

They rolled really well actually. So four of them do land hits and they're going (goofy posh laughter).


[SFX: Hollow metal thunks.]

 

Tau 

They're all just smashing with their goblets and dinnerware at this man in the middle. They do a total of... 20 damage. Now it is the man in the middle's turn and you hear a voice, it sounds almost like a like it's like through like a filter or under like a helmet or something and it shouts "Get BACK!" And he is going to swing a giant lance in a circle around him. He gets a 28, all six of them are going to take 18 damage each which wipes out all of the Wretched Gentry.

  

[SFX: A mechanic type of woosh sound.]

 

Tau 

So at this moment in time there are no Wretched Gentry and you all have a clearer view of who's in the middle. So you see a man in this like very like futuristic looking plate armor but it seems to be like plate but also like woven with cloth in like certain places, this kind of like tactical weaving so to speak. And he has this helmet that instead of like any like space for like a face, you just see like a sleek black visor over it. And you see a little runes inside the visor like lighting up on it kind of like a holographic display. So he is swinging that giant lance. He's just wiped out a bunch of Wretched Gentry. And you also now have a view of the sundial in the middle which shows two.

  

[SFX: TICK.]

 

Tau 

And Rolf it is your turn.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"He's not the Mandalorian, maybe he's Daft Punk."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oh my gosh.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Hail, friend! My name is Rolf. Who are you?"

 

Tau 

(intense) "Who I was doesn't matter, I am now a servant of Hephaestus."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Very cool."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(whispers) "Tell him we have we have we are with Hephaestus."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"We are friends of Hephaestus, we have his a look!" and I point to the auto injector.

 

Tau 

He nods, that's about the most you can do on the seconds of your turn.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Okay!"

 

Tau 

Do you do anything else like action wise?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I'm just gonna ready acid splash.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I guess I'm just gonna Poseidon dash in a circle around him.

 

Tau 

Alright.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

So get--

 

Tau 

You're going...

 

 

[SFX: Splashes with each dash.]

 

Tau 

...Dash dash dash dash and a circle around him for fun?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

No to keep my AC up like during their next turn.

 

Tau 

Okay, that's fair. So you're like riding that wave around. At this moment the sundial ticks down to the one position...


[SFX: TICK. Wooshes with the appearance of...]

 

Tau 

...and eight Wretched Gentry appear immediately surrounding the man again.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(cries out) Does that trigger my spell?

 

Tau 

Yes, it does. So you're using your reaction to cast acid splash?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yes, you need to roll a dexterity saving throw. I would like to use a blood crystal as well...

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

...to raise that DC for you.


[SFX Dice rolls.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Which brings it to a 20 dexterity.

 

Tau 

Okay, I'm not even gonna bother rolling. It's literally impossible for Wretched Gentry to do it so...

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Great. So they are going to take 2d6 plus 4d6. I'm going to call upon my my best buddy Dionysus...


[SFX: POP of a bottle stopper.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

...to apply some hangover as well because they're going to take 28 acid damage, two of them.

 

[SFX: A soft HISS of acid.]

 

Tau 

You acid splash these two Wretched Gentry and the acid splash is so powerful that the blood crystal actually shatters around them and actually gets two more Wretched Gentry.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Whoo!

 

Tau 

So you have wiped out a total of four Wretched Gentry in a single cast.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Thank you, Ares!"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Aw, so now that Rolf has wiped out and kind of made a bit of an like an entrance to our friend, our Hephaestus buddy, Annie would like to stand with him and cast thunder wave outward.

 

Tau 

Okay, they fail.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's gonna call to Ares and ask for a blessing and Dionysus for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah! It is 25 damage.

 

Tau 

All right, you instantly wipe out all remaining four Wretched Gentry.

 

 

[SFX: Bloody bursts.]

 

Tau 

You blast them away. Nice work.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Hey, hey, man. What's your name? I'm uh I'm Arete."

 

Tau 

(still really intense) "I am the champion of Hephaestus."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"That's a that's that's pretty cool, bro." And I I roll investigation. See if I can figure anything and it's a 10 so I probably don't.

 

Tau 

It is some really nicely fitting armor. The armor is like in the shape of his abs. It's like really sleek.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete blushes and noticing the armor and Arete will just go ahead and move to be next to the man and Annie.

 

Tau 

It is the champion of Hephaestus' turn. He is gonna hold out his lance and you see the lance, it's kind of like a telescopic lance. So like more parts of it are like sliding out from inside of it...

 

[SFX: Slight scrape of metal and clicks into place.]

 

Tau 

...and lengthening and he stabs it onto the ground and he leaps off of it like he uses it like a pole vault almost. And he leaps up super super high into the air just like into the blackness of Tartarus.

 

[SFX: A whip of air as he leaps away.]

 

Tau 

Rolf it is your turn.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Goodbye!"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I'm going to ready acid splash again.

 

Tau 

Okay, Alexander.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Just gonna keep sprinting around the (with effort) "Must protect with aura."


[SFX: Alexander sloshes around]

 

Tau 

The sundial ticks down to the zero position.

 

[SFX: TICK.]

 

Tau 

And eight Wretched Gentry appear again in the middle.

 

[SFX: WOOSHES as they appear.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Hey, Genny, boys. Hope you like ASS-id."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Okay, you made it weird."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"It's just it's just part of the human anatomy. I don't think it's that weird."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Acid, it just say acid."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Alright, they take a total of 17 acid damage, two of them.

 

Tau 

So you wipe out two Wretched Gentry with this acid, it splashes onto them.

 

 [SFX: SPLAT.]

 

Tau 

(Gentry cry out)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Thank you Ares, again.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Standing on the sundial, Annie would like to cast thunderclap and she would like to use Resonata Conduit of the Muse. And that's going to be another constitution saving throw.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

All right, I got a five.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

YEAH! This is so exciting.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Yeah, clap those thunder cheeks.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Euuugh.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Oh Arete you made it weird too!" Okay, so Annie is going to do... that's 2d6 normally, but Annie once again is going to call on Ares...

 

[SFX: A soft THINK and glimmer of the blessing.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

...for that blessing so that she can up that damage die and on top of that I can add an extra die because of the Resonata.

 

Tau 

I feel you guys could just like like beat the entire rest of the game with these rolls.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Here's hoping. (rythmically) that is top 27 thunder damage, bwa bwa bwa.

 

Tau 

So all six of them, right?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah.

 

Tau 

Resonata, the leaves and the vines on it kind of all become like really like straight and narrow for a moment...


[SFX: Violin intensely wobbling upwards in the scale.]

 

Tau 

And this thunderclap resonates throughout and all six of the Wretched Gentry explode.


[SFX: Wet explosions.]

 

Tau 

They're all gone.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah!

 

Tau 

Arete, it is your turn.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay. Arete is gonna kind of stare up into the darkness where the guy disappeared to. And he's gonna go "Hey, you wanna want to come on back down and we can have a nice little chat? I think I'm sure you didn't necessarily need our help but we showed up but the at this particular moment, so we thought why not help help the dude out?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"What if he was helping us?"

 

Tau 

Well, you asked and he shall answer because now he comes crashing back down, like a bolt of lightning that lance slams directly into the sundial.

 

[SFX:  A massive roll of thunder and CRACK of stone.]

 

Tau 

That sundial shatters. He lands on top of the lance and he just kind of kicks himself off it and then stands next to it with his hand still on it. Sorry, Alexander, but that does resolve the room.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(Still going around) "I am still goinginginging."

 

Tau 

In the place where the sundial shattered, you see a crystal globe with a golden feather inside.

 

[SFX: A presentational chime.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Before we touch that, hey, friend, what's your goal?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"He's the champion."

 

Tau 

(cold) "My goal?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yes, I know you're the champion. But what are you trying to win? Champ?"

 

Tau 

Okay, make a persuasion check with disadvantage.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(laugh wheeze) Well, I rolled a natural one on the first roll. So I don't think you can get much worse than a four.

 

Tau 

"I don't know if I made myself clear that I'm the champion Hephaestus."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah. What does that entail?"

 

Tau 

"Serving his aims."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah. What does he want? Can we help you?"

 

Tau 

(indignant) "That is not up to you to know."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Okay, fair, I'm sorry for asking."

 

Tau 

(scoffing) "Amateurs," he takes his helmet off. And as the giant visored helmet comes off, you see a man with, its like half blond hair. But then the other half of it really, really thin strands of silver almost as if the hair was made out of metal itself. And he also has this red cybernetic eye that is attached to this mechanical implement on half of his face. And now that you have a closer look at him, you actually get the sense that more of his limbs are mechanical than human. So you see like a mechanical arm in one place and you see a bionic leg on the opposite side.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Are you Raiden? Does he say anything after he takes it off? Like what like what's, what's he doing?

 

Tau 

He just said "Amateurs," and then just took the helmet off.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. Are you going to be featured in the Snider cut?"

 

Tau 

(laughs)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I touch the globe.

 

Tau 

Yeah, so you touch the globe?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah, I guess I touched the globe if you're not going to talk to us. All right.

 

Tau 

So you see these winds pick up all around you. It's almost like you're in like the eye of a storm of like a tornado or something. And you see that silhouette of a winged man flying very speedily all around you. And then you hear a voice ring out in your ears. "Wait a minute. I've seen that staff before. Don't tell me that's Ruyi Jingu Bang. Never thought I'd run into it down here. You know, a fellow I daresay who is almost as fast as me once used to run around that that thing. I wonder if it'll recognize one of my moods." Now roll a d20.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Pleasure to see you again, Hermes."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

16.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Nice.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Hell yes.

 

Tau 

So you can choose between Hermes power, Hermes survivability, or Hermes utility boon.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(excited) The dash, right? The bonus dash?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

We need we need the dash.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

The bonus dash. The bonus dash.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs) I mean, yeah.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That was...

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Suvivability.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Survivability was it I think?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yes.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah, I think I think we got to.

 

Tau 

Okay, it becomes easier for you to avoid attacks. You may dash as a bonus action. If you could already do this, you may double your dash distance this way.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Ooo.

 

Tau 

And at the rare rarity, you may disengage as a bonus action as well. And if you could already do this, you gain plus five AC until the start of your next turn. That is when you do the bonus action disengage, so it's not also in addition to the dash. Yeah.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Excellent. Okay, thank you Hermes. We shall put these to good use probably very soon."

 

Tau 

You see the man's cybernetic eye tracing the silhouetted Hermes around the eye of the storm, almost like inhumanly so. And then eventually the winds dissipate and the shadow passes and you're kind of just back in that chamber again with the man.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(subtle) "Someone charm him."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Okay, I have I have friends however, when the spell ends, the creature realizes I use magic to influence its mood and it becomes hostile toward me. So I don't think that's a good idea."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Anastasia? Any any spells to charm him?"

 

Tau 

"You really think I can't hear you?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Okay, I'm gonna be real with you. But we just want to talk to you but you don't seem very receptive, which is fine. But also like lots of--"

 

Tau 

"Could you ask more interesting questions? Do you see me asking who you are? Do you see me caring?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"That's... ouch."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Are you a part of the trials?"

 

Tau 

"What trials?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"The escape attempts?"

 

Tau 

(scoffs) "No, I wasn't selected for any such special escape attempt by his Lord Zagreus."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"You were rejected?"

 

Tau 

"I didn't apply."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"So listen, it looks like like our boy Festus has a little bit of a beef with the gods."

 

Tau 

(laughs) "Why would that be?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh, I don't know just you know, tone of voice. I felt like, would you say that's accurate slash would you say you have beef with the gods? Because hey, I want to be real with you, we're a little lukewarm right now."

 

Tau 

"That's interesting because I just saw you accept a boon from Olympus."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs nervously)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Well, you know we're also trying to stay alive out here, player."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(laughs, like oh snap)

 

Tau 

Yeah. So basically because he watched you accept that Boon, any charisma check you're gonna make with him is going to have disadvantage.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Oh my gosh, this is not happening."

 

Tau 

Sorry. You really got you really played yourselves there.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That's fine. Um, fair. All right. "So like, where are you going from here?"

 

Tau 

"I'm getting out of here."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Surface? Surface bound?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah. Are you going through to the gates?"

 

Tau 

"Aren't we all?"

 

Tau 

"I think I have to for now."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I like your weapon."

 

Tau 

"Ha. Thanks."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"It'd be very interesting if we could work together. Hey, I get it. We're not. You're not vibing with us. That's fine, but I'm sure you'll take the extra meatshields, huh?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Do have, give him the nec... the nectar."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(laughs) "Please, I think this man is above bribes of such a simple variety. I apologize for my for my friend here... Do you wish to have nectar? We have nectar."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"You don't wish to have nectar?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"If you want nectar, I'll give it to you. I just don't it doesn't seem like you would you'd be down to have a drink with us."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Hey, have you heard we have nectar? It's fuckin--"

 

Tau 

So so are you are you sincerely offering him nectar?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

How many do we have?

 

Michael (Arete) 

Two.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah, I'd give him a nectar.

 

Tau 

Alright, are you handing it over to him?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I would. "Yes. As a way to show we mean no harm and in hopes of working together perhaps even."

 

Tau 

"Ha. Thanks." He swipes the nectar from you. And he chugs it...


[SFX: The liquid flows.]

 

Tau 

...all in one go. And then he tosses the bottle and the bottle just crashes and shatters on some tile elsewhere.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh my, every time." And Rolf picks up the glass and tucks it away in his bag.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Hopefully we get to see you again."

 

Tau 

"Oh, I forget. The gods believe it is some custom that you should give somebody a token when they give you nectar right?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I don't know man. I'm not from here."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"You don't have to do that."

 

Tau 

"Good then I won't."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Good."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Okay."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Just hoping to see you again. And, uh, yes. Go be on your way. It's fine."

 

Tau 

You see a gate with a Dedalus hammer. And he eyes that gate and it is clear he wants that. So he goes, "Uh, we might be headed the same way."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Good idea."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh, come, welcome aboard. Yeah. Hey, I love me a good hammer."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I don't think he cares that it's from Daedalus."

 

Tau 

"I care a little bit. I respect craftsmanship wherever it's found. I think even Hephaestus respects him."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Certainly. Um, well. You want to travel together, if not work together?"

 

Tau 

"We will travel together as allies by convenience. If you make it inconvenient, that story might change."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I, are you saying that this this group could possibly make something inconvenient for another person?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's gonna gently put a finger on Arete's lips. Just gently just like "Shhh. Arete."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"After you, sir." and, puh, uh "I'm sorry, after you." And Rolf is gonna press the bubble in to open the gate.


[SFX: A gentle clink and then scrape of metal and stone.]

 

Tau 

Alright, the gate slides up and it opens and he wastes no time. He just goes right in.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Okay. Rolf looks at Annie and, and Arete and he goes "I think this is going to be very good, but also like, the fuck?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah. Annie's gonna just walk in.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf walks in.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Alexander's rolling in somersault.

 

[SFX: Alex whips through the air then, portal SWOOSH.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete is gonna take one last longing glance around the room. Just taking it in, remembering it.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Thinking about the times...

 

Tau 

You hear, (singing) "I will remember you..."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's hand reaches out back to the portal and grabs Arete.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Seeing the disembodied hand of his friend emerge from the portal, Arete kind of screams and then hops into the portal. "Ahh!"

 

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Tau 

Okay. On the other side, you roll out--

 

Michael (Arete) 

(parodying) Olympiad! Roll out!

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs)

 

Tau 

(laughs) Alexander you tumble out of the portal doin', following whatever thing you're doing. The champion of Hephaestus has put his helmet back on. And he's kind of just looking, you can even tell even through that the the black visor which shows no affect whatsoever, you can feel intense judgment coming from it as you roll out and everybody else joins as well. So it's kind of like, remember in the stealth challenges you have this like starting platform that you start on and there's that that long stretch of hallway beneath you? So here you're on that starting platform and then there is a long stretch in front of you but it is just an ocean of the Styx. So there is like no ground, no walls, nothing. It is just the boiling Styx out in front of you. On another platform about 90 feet away, you see another gate, like an exit gate.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Champion, could you jump us all across?"

 

Tau 

(scoffs) "If you're not strong enough to get across, you're not even getting out of here."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"You're really not going to tell us your name. Can I just call you champ? Is that okay?"

 

Tau 

"(sighs dramatically) Since you gave me the nectar, it's Pelops but I don't understand why it matters."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Wait a second!"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(GASP)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Ohhhh."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"It does matter. It does matter."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Ohhh my!! (laughs in realization)


[SFX: Outro music.]

 

ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood, stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon Mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Audio editing by Tau Zaman. Sound design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C., with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. Transcription by Eli Barraza.

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