Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 16 - Dancing with the Gods

TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 16 - Dancing with the Gods

 

Tau 

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Tau

You’re listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way, we’re just big ol’ nerds making improv fanfiction. 

 

ROGUE RUNNERS is...rated R, for pretty much everything you can find in Greek Mythology: violence, assault, self-harm, offensive language, insensitive humor, and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at Whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.

 

[SFX: Intro music.]


Tau

You arrive on a giant triangular platform on which each side is 60 feet in length. Your starting point is at one of the corners of the triangle. And you also notice that only the corners of the triangle are solid stone and big enough to fit you. The entire rest of the triangle is solid ice. Furthermore, a large crack begins widening in the ice in the middle. All around you on the outsides of the triangle is endless black. Each corner of the platform also contains a mirror which floats gently behind that point of the corner. You see...

 

[SFX: Quiet Heretic cackle.]

 

Tau 

...two heretics on each corner that is not the corner that you're on.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Great.

 

Tau 

Roll initiative.

 

Michael (Arete) 

My initiative for Arete is a seven.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie is an 8.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

13.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I have a 13 as well.

 

Tau

Wretched Heretics are up first.

 

[SFX: Rough guitar notes fade in to begin the battle music.]

 

Tau 

The two Wretched Heretics that are on the northern point of the triangle, they are going to turn around and they're going to face the mirror at their corner. They're going to (cackle) and they're going to fire their bolts into the corner mirror that they have. And those bolts are going to come out of the mirror that's behind you...

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(wobbly) Nooo.

 

Tau 

...and they are gonna hit ya.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Noo!

 

Tau 

So each of you is hit with six bolts. That's 6d4 plus 6.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Oof.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I hate magic.

 

Tau 

That is 24 damage at each of you.

 

Players 

(groan and cry out at the damage)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I have a plan."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Yes, (sputters) tell it to me as I move somewhere."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Okay, so so here's here's what I think right? The crack is widening in the center. It's a question of weight, we are too heavy here on this side of the triangle. However, since there are four of us here and two on each other platform, two of us can move freely about the ice, meaning two of you should move out to the center while we kill the others on the platform. As we kill those you can replace them on that side. Then one of us can inhabit each quarter of the triangle and one of us in the center will be perfectly weighted and the crack should stop."

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, that is brilliant, number one. I will also just mention one factoid, which is that the Wretched Heretics are floating.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Never mind, everyone spread out."

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Everyone go to one corner. And one person stay in the center. And..."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Annie has a question! Can we run through the mirror? It just a questioooon."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yeah, all-alright. He'll, he's about to fucking faceplant into the mirror. So here we go. Seven years of bad luck.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, so the mirror has a series of glyphs along it which can be activated with an action and then pointed to one of the other corners.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Great. The north corner beep boop beep...

 

[SFX: Electrical beeps]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

...activate.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Alright, you do activate it. So now that mirror is going towards the north corner.

 

[SFX: A deep SWOOSH for the mirror portal.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

So Rolf is going to run through that portal.

 

[SFX: Deep SWOOSH.]

 

Tau 

You run through it, you immediately appear in front of two Wretched Heretics.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Great, and then he's going to produce a blood crystal forth, it's going to float betwixt his two hands as he focuses on it, and you see it vibrate louder and louder until it shatters with an incredible thunder wave.

 

[SFX: An explosion of noise.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

They need to roll a constitution saving throw... they need to roll a 20 or higher.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

Well they get an eight.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

All right! And then... they take 3d8 damage because that was cast at second level for a total of 17 damage.

 

Michael (Arete) 

So Rolf, Guile's theme starts playing, you run into this mirror, you emerge with the other mirror, you hear (musically) downownownow. You take out this blood crystal and you're charging it up between your hands and your going (dramtically) Hadooooouken! And then you blast the thunder wave and you obliterate those Wretched Heretics, they're gone.


[SFX: A bloody explosion.]

 

Tau 

"You're welcome, friends!"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie is gonna switch up the mirror so that the next time someone wants to run through it or shoot something through it, it would attack the other two Wretched Heretics towards the eeeastern area.

 

Michael (Arete) 

The Wretched Heretics are going to fire bolts into the mirror and they're going (cackle). And the bolts are going to come out at everybody except Rolf.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That's good because I would have died.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Guess I WILL die.

 

Tau 

Everybody takes 23 force damage that is not Rolf as these bolts. Just go bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete, seeing what is about to happen, pulls out his adrenaline shot and just shoves it in his thighs as he gets obliterated by these witch balls.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, you don't need to take it out, it just automatically injects into your heart.

 

[SFX: A plunge then a rejuvenating slash.]

 

Tau 

So you're up to 40 hit points.

 

Michael (Arete) 

With the mirror pointing at the southeast corner, Arete will draw La Voix...

 

[SFX: Metal scrapes.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

...with his Aspect of Arete and his normal shortsword and leap through the portal and he will do some two weapon fighting to attack both of the Wretches.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Michael (Arete) 

First attack roll is a seven.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, that does not hit the Wretched Heretic.

 

Michael (Arete) 

18 for the second.

 

Tau 

So that definitely hits.

 

Michael (Arete) 

And that will be six damage.

 

[SFX: A squishy THUMP.]

 

Tau 

Ooo. Okay. You feel like you got it really low, so with this Wretched Heretic it goes (gutteral cry).

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Rolf, would you mind if I left it up to you?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"HUH?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I would like to heal myself."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah, that's fine."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Okay, I'm gonna use cure wounds at level two and get 18 health back.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Let's let's let's bring out the classic. Let's acid splash at 'em." I recall that crystal that is now aligned right in front of me, the shards of it that shattered, and then I fuse them yet again into a nice strong steady stream of acid coming directly out of my fingertip and they have to roll a dexterity saving throw...

 

 

[SFX: Dice roll.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

 ...of 18 or higher.

 

Tau 

Okay, they get 21.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Guess what Ruyi Jingu Bang, bong bong bong and they get disadvantage!

 

[SFX: A resounding BONG.]

 

Tau 

(laughs) Very nice. Now they only get a 12.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

All right and they fail so they take... oh not bad, nine damage each.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay they both go (weak dying cackle) and disintegrate.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Alrighty!

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Thanks Rolf. I appreciate you coming in there."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Anytime chief."

 

Tau 

You see a pomegranate appear directly on the cracking ice in the middle.

 

[SFX: Glimmering chime noise.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf gently gets down on all fours and very slowly crawls out onto the ice (wheeze laughs).

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"If you don't want to risk it for the biscuit, I can cast mage hand."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I'm gonna run for it.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Okay, y'know, what cha cha high hell, whatever!"

 

Tau 

You all have things to do but I think Alexander's is the most destructive so we'll go with his first. So Alexander runs onto the ice. Do you want to do anything, like grab the pomegranate?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yes!

 

Tau 

Okay (laughs).

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(high pitched, laughing) He grabs it and slides off with it.

 

Tau 

You grab the pomegranate. The force of your running on the ice cracks the ice...

 

[SFX: Crack then shatter.]

 

Tau 

...and the ice breaks and directly underneath you is a sheet of crystal and within that sheet of crystal, you see an icon of a wine glass with wine in it.

 

Michael (Arete) 

(Gasps) "It's time to get drunk everybody."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Dionysis?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Okay did I fall or...

 

Tau 

So basically if you want to go into it, you break it.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Be careful Alexander, you break it you buy it."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

The pomegranate?

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Oh my god, nevermind (chuckles). What did the DM just say about entering the thing? You need to break it to go in."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"But I want to eat the pomegranate."

 

Michael (Arete) 

(laughs)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I don't know, that this this one is yelling at me to break things."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"This one? THIS one???"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Ouch."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I've been reduced to 'this one.'"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I'm gonna eat the pomegranate

 

 

[SFX: A bite into the crisp flesh of the fruit.]

 

Tau 

Okay, when you eat the pomegranate, everybody gets a benefit which is that your adrenaline autoinjector upgrades to "Rare" rarity.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Do we get to pick which of the two? Between Poseidon versus-- I mean like, I don't care. I just wanted to check... I couldn't remember.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Ooo.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Yeah, so you can choose. Do you want to upgrade your Poseidon boon or your Hephaestus boon?

 

Michael (Arete) 

I mean since I've already used mine, it might be nice if it refreshes it?

 

Tau 

It does not.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yeah then I'm gonna go with the Poseidon one.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Really?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

He already used his so he can't use it.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"You three would still get a benefit."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Yeah, but it would be nice for you to still be able to benefit."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

But wou--what would it do? Just give you more health when you come back?

 

Michael (Arete) 

We don't know that until we pick it.

 

Tau 

Nope. I think it does something even cooler.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Hmmmm.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Fuck, man.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Hey everyone, I'll take this for the team, you pick, pick the cool thing."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I want to get the one that benefits us all but I'm just like, me Giancarlo, I'm such a slut for like not having to die.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(snorts)

 

Michael (Arete) 

Give it to me dungeon daddy.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Oh we will, don't you worry.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I mean, I'm assuming upgrading the wave dash, you just get more AC when you're dashing.

 

Michael (Arete) 

That's like a fair assumption.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I am voting for Hephaestus' Boon."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I'm going to--

 

Tau 

I need to hear votes from everybody else.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I just feel bad because--

 

Michael (Arete) 

Don't feel bad, get glad.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Alright, we have two for Hephaestus.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(sighs) Annie's gonna vote for Hephaestus I think, so take that.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

All right. (struggling) I'm sorry, Arete.

 

Michael (Arete) 

I already voted for Hephaestus, just do it.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I know but it was like a, it was a, it was a kind gesture.

 

Michael (Arete) 

I appreciate the gesture from your apology, now please cast your vote.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

All right, let's do it to. I'm going Hephaestus.

 

Michael (Arete) 

All right, the pomegranate upgrades your adrenaline autoinjector to Rare rarity. So now when it activates, you get a choice. First, you already get the healing, that's guaranteed, but you get a choice of of one of two additional effects. One, you can be granted invisibility immediately. The other is that you can gain a flying speed of 30 feet for the rest of the chamber.

 

Michael & Nicholas 

Flying speed?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Thank you, Hephaestus!"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

And now Alexander will flip his sword so the point is down, raise it above his head, and stab his sword into the crystal.

 

[SFX: A whip of movement and a quick crack of crystal.]

 

Tau 

You all fall deep into blackness.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(gentle scream)

 

Michael (Arete) 

Sounds like my daily routine.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(quietly laughs)

 

Michael (Arete) 

You find yourself in a large dark hall but the square tiles underneath you begin lighting up and alternating colorful patterns.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Disco baby!

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

We hear a booming bass outside like (rhythmic unce noise).

 

[SFX: A quick rhythm fades in.]

 

Tau 

You hear dun dun dadadadundun dun dun dadadadundun dun dun dadadadundun. And then you see a moon-like ball of crystal descending from the ceiling and the way that this ball of crystal is shaped, it's kind of like golf ball shaped, and as the lights from the floor touches the crystal, it casts these disco lights elsewhere around the room.

 

Michael (Arete) 

(vibing) Yeeeah.

 

Tau 

And then as you peer deeper into the crystal, you see a little halfling man who shouts out (gameshow voice) "Welcome to Dancing with the Gods!"

 

Players 

(laugh and cheer)

 

Tau 

And as the lights go up a little bit, you see across the room from you, Pandaie, Palestrae, Ajax, and Adonis. And he says "On today's Dancing with the Gods, we are going to have our Olympiads pair up to see who can give us the best dance moves to entertain Olympus."

 

[SFX: A crowd cheers]

 

Tau 

"Are you ready to dance?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I...I'm ready."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf strips his clothing off...

 

[SFX: Fabric peels off.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

...revealing a nice tight bodysuit beneath it, sparkling with sequins and he says "Yeah!"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Oh, wow."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"You've been, you've been wearing that the whole time?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I appreciate I appreciate your sense of fabric choice."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie doesn't have a sparkly fancy dancy suit, but she is sure ready to dance.

 

Michael (Arete) 

And Arete tries to like, fix his hair but then he realizes he's bald and I guess Arete will step out onto the dance floor.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(whispering) "Alex, are you ready to dance?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(monotone but in rhythm) "Left foot, let's stomp. Right foot let's stomp."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"FREEZE!"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Everybody clap your hands."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(amused) Oh no.

 

Players 

(clap in rhythm)

 

Tau 

Alright, the music turns up...

 

Tau 

...and then he says "All right, now everybody meet up with your dance partner!" and then whichever tile you're standing on, the lights on that tile start lighting up a line of tiles leading to your dance partner across from you. "For our first round, our contestants will be dancing the electroswing!" Arete, you see this trail of lights lead to...

 

 

[SFX: The funky music gets louder.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

(whispering, hopeful) Adonis Adonis, Adonis.

 

Tau 

...Palestrae.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Damn!

 

Tau 

She's wearing a bowler hat, she's kind of dressed like Don Draper. She's got this like really nice fitting suit and tie and like a hat. She's got her hair like pulled back in a bun. She looks very handsome. Rolf, the trail of lights leads you to Ajax. Ajax is also dressed in this kind of like swingy outfit, so he's got kind of like a really tight vest and his like bulging muscles are coming out through the button shirt underneath it. He's got these like tight fitting pants, and then like a little red bow tie. Annie, the lights follow you all the way over to Pandaie. She did not want to change for this occasion. So she's wearing a sari. Alexander. The lights follow in front of you all the way to Adonis who is wearing this, a really cute rainbow suspenders.

 

Players 

Awww.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(joking) Nothing else.

 

Tau 

(laughing) And nothing else. No, and like, on a shirt. "Alright, our electroswing dance off begins in 30 seconds."

 

Michael (Arete) 

I quickly move forward and I hold out my hand and I say, "May I have this dance?"

 

Tau 

(as Palestrae) "Oh, I thought you'd never ask," and she holds out her elbow.

 

Michael (Arete) 

I take it.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf swallows his pride and walks up to Ajax, hoping that it will be like one of those we're about to dance, but we're like glaring at each other face to face before we do.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Alexander will walk onto the dance floor halfway, waiting for Adonis.

 

Tau 

Okay, Adonis does meet you. He comes right up to you, he goes, "So, um, do we put our arms around each other or something? I've never done electro swing before."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I don't even know what that is. I'll foll--you want me to follow you...?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I just feel like you'd be a better lead."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(awkward) "Very well, uh, I will do my best."

 

Tau 

"Okay." And then Ajax is gonna look at you, Rolf, and you're as tall as he is. So he goes, "Well, at least they got our heights, right?" And he does that thing that like straight men do at weddings where like, their arms are just like perpetually at their sides because if they were to touch their hips, it would be like too fruity or something.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs)

 

Tau 

So he's like, "Alright, let's do this!"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah, and at that, Rolf is gonna grab him but like one arm like around his waist and take his hand and lift it up so that he is in the like, traditionally like woman's pose. But it's not like violent at all. It's very, like, just like we're gonna do it. And just like, this is what it is.

 

Tau 

All right, he blushes.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

There we go.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's gonna do like, some twirls over to Pandaie. Just like some, like pirouettes. They're not necessarily good but she's just like, she's loves the music. She's here to have a good time.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Are you telling me Annie can't do a clean triple?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Hey! She hasn't warmed up yet! Yeah? Hey now, don't come for her. There is no F between my B and A, thank you very MUCH. All right. Anyway.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Pop off, sis.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

I got a B and an A, that is not an M-T, it's not it's just my degree. Anyway. Yeah, Annie's gonna do her little twirls over to Pandaie. And she's gonna be like dancing in place just waiting for Pandaie to join her.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Pandaie very solidly walks up to you and she says, "I'm not much of a dancer."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"That's okay. You don't have to be, just let the music just let the music do it. Let the music do its job."

 

Tau 

At this, the electro swing music flares up...

 

[SFX: The music shifts to electroswing.]

 

Tau 

...and you are expected to dance. So this is something called a skill challenge. And the way skill challenges work is you are going to be presented with a series of tasks and you have to use whatever abilities or skills you want to to resolve those tasks. But you can only do each method once. So for example, if Annie said, Oh, I want to use my great dance moves and roll a performance check, she can do that for the first song but that means she can't use performance checks for later songs. Does that make sense?

 

Players 

Yes.

 

Tau 

That also applies for spells, abilities, anything that you think will help you and your partner have the best possible dance. So now you guys are in a dance off and we're going to start with Arete and Palestrae, what's goin' on!

 

Michael (Arete) 

(nervous) Okayyy.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete is going to roll a performance check. He kind of overheard me talking about letting the music move you, so he is trying to be inspired with his performance roll of 12.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(laughs)

 

Michael (Arete) 

Palestrae is gonna use her monk feature which is increased unarmored movement speed. So she is just gonna do like some really fast spins like all around you while you're kind of like leading her like in the middle and using her as this like swinging implement, essentially. She got a 12 as well. So you guys are at an average of 12. Rolf and Ajax, what's up?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I think Rolf is going to take advantage of the blushing Ajax and begin to lead him in an intricate dance and just roll a performance.

 

Tau 

Okay, what is the dance?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I think this is gonna be like, the we're like, kicking...? What is that called? Is that when you're like kicking like opposite legs?

 

Michael (Arete) 

Like a Charleston?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah, I think he's gonna lead him in a Charleston before eventually, he's gonna grab Ajax firmly by the arms, and then try and swing them through underneath his legs and then pose like both of them stretching out in opposite directions.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, Ajax is going to fly into a rage because that's his main class feature (laughs).

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oh my word.

 

Tau 

However, when he does this, he can unleash a battle cry infused with divine energy, up to 10 creatures of your choice within 60 feet of you that can hear you gain advantage on attack rolls and saving throws until the start of your next turn. And he is gonna attack this dance as best as he can. Alright, so can you give me your roll again, Rolf?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That's an 18 performance.

 

Tau 

Okay, and he's gonna use his barbarian class feature...

 

 

[SFX: Dice clacks.]

 

Tau 

We're gonna give him a 13. So you guys have an average score of 16. Annie and Pandaie, what's going on?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie would really like to use, uh, do a history check just to try and remember like specific moves that were known for like the swinging times? You know what I'm saying? Like a history of swing kind of book that she probably read about.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

And would like to refer back to that to try and nail some good moves.

 

Michael (Arete) 

As you're dancing, you feel the magic of the College of Mysteries swarms around you and you change into this gorgeous flapper dress.

 

[SFX: A fantastic transformation WOOSH.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasps)

 

Tau 

...as you draw on your historical knowledge. Alright, roll for me.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oo! That's a 23.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Let's see what Pandaie is gonna do. Okay, she has an attack called sweeping attack. So basically as you guys are dancing, she's gonna do these large sweeps around the room as if she was swinging fher axe but there's no accidents just kind of this like beautifully showwomanly turn that's dramatic.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

It was not really in tune to the music so she got a four.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

That's okay, you just keep doing it, Pandaie.

 

Michael (Arete) 

So your average score is a 14. Alexander and Adonis.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Alexander's gonna start by doing a three step in, three step out, like a breakdancer would and then he does in fact get down on the ground and start breakdancing and spinning and then he will use his wave dash.

 

[SFX: A glimmer and a woosh of the wave.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

So now you see this Poseidon waves around...

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

... while he's spinning and then hopefully with that wave dash, he can also force Adonis like up into the air and let him take it from there.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Oooooo.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay so Adonis goes "Weee!" as you push him up into the air. He has an ability called whirlwind attack which he's gonna use to just, um when you wash him up into the air with the water, he's gonna spin around in a little whirlwind which everyone is very impressed by. I'm gonna give inspiration for using a creative boon.

 

[SFX: Bright DING followed by a dice roll.]

 

Tau 

Roll with advantage for me by the way.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls again.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

13.

 

Michael (Arete) 

You got a 13, he got a 17. Your average score is a 15. So the song finishes...

 

[SFX: Cheers and applause.]

 

Tau 

...all the shades cheer and clap. The dancehall you notice is actually filled with shades, it was just hard to tell because of how dark it is. The thing is, they're all around you, but you just phase through them when you're dancing, so it's not a big deal. Koalemos is gonna say, "Alright, that was a rousing first round! Let's look at our rankings for our dancers. In first place, we have Rolf and Ajax."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Eyy!"

 

Tau 

"With 16 points."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Nice."

 

Tau 

"In second place, we have Alexander and Adonis with 15."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

He bows.

 

Tau 

"In third place we have Annie and Pandaie with 14 points."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oooo. Annie's gonna curtsy.

 

Tau 

"And in fourth place we have Arete and Palestrae with 12 points."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Don't worry, Paulie. This was just the warm up round."

 

Tau 

"All right. Well, since that was just the warm up round, let's all switch partners!"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasps) Oh noo!!

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Woah.

 

Tau 

So here's what's gonna happen everybody's partner shifts. Areteyour partner is now Adonis.

 

Michael (Arete) 

(gasps)

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah!!

 

Tau 

Alexander your partner is now Pandaie. Annie your partner is now Ajax. Rolf, your partner is now Palestrae.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"All right!"

 

Tau 

"Our next song will be the saucy Tango. You have 30 seconds to prepare."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasps)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Bro, I'm so tempted to tell somebody to just kill me so I could do a cool trick with that thing. (laughs)

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oh my gosh.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Just like in the 30 seconds you turn to your partner, you're like, murder me murder me right here and now. I promise everything's gonna be fine. Just do it.

 

Michael (Arete) 

You start to hear this like very less Tango, more flamenco we beat start to come up under your feet.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"How do you feel about some romance for the show?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

(Palestrae) "Oh, it's been so long since anyone's ever wanted to be romantic with me."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh, let's let's do it! Let's be romantic."

 

Tau 

"Let's do it!" Palestrae is also toweringly tall so yeah, you two are a perfect match.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Beautiful.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Shall I lead or you?"

 

Tau 

You're with Pandaie? She goes "I'm not much of a dancer, I think you should lead."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Very well."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's still dancing like in a spot like she just has not stopped dancing since the music got started. She's just she's vibing with it. And she's going to look at Ajax and be like "Really glad we had that conversation earlier else this would be probably really really uncomfortable for both of us. Can you Tango or flamenco? Or how do you feel about...?"

 

Tau 

" I think I can but I think it takes two to tango."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Aw! Ajax you're you know what? You're getting better and better every time we meet Okay, let's that's, we got this. Let's do this!"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Can you tell me where is a good place to put my hands on you?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"AJAX! Abso-- If I could, I would award you some inspiration, buddy. That's awesome. Good for you." And Annie will just take his hands and place them where they need to be placed and where she feels comfortable.

 

Tau 

Okay. Arete and Adonis. Adonis goes (nervous) "Oh boy."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"What are you? Are you, are you nervous?"

 

Tau 

"Yeah."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Don't worry. I can lead." And I take Adonis's hands and I placed one on my shoulder and I hold the other one and I grab his waist and I pull him in close and I'm like, "Alright, T-A-N-G-O ready?"

 

Tau 

Arete is rockhard.

 

Tau 

So the music starts up. It is this like sexy Tango, flamencoey beat. There's this wonderful guitar going. What do you do for this round? You have to use something different than you did earlier in the skill challenge. So let's start with Arete and Adonis, what do you do?

 

[SFX: Music starts up, accordions and guitar.]

 

Players 

(laughs)

 

Michael (Arete) 

Alright, I am going to lead Adonis through with some very deft and complicated footwork for the tango and I'll be doing an acrobatics check to complete that.

 

Tau 

Okay, make a charisma saving throw.

 

Michael (Arete) 

My charisma saving throw is a 13.

 

Michael (Arete) 

You feel very confident in your ability to do this Tango but it is like Adonis just perpetually radiates these like waves of magnetism that make your thoughts fuzzy and you're just like, just want to keep looking at him and like looking at the way his like lips move and the way his eyes look and you find that you're making this roll with disadvantage.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Alright, so with the disadvantage, it is a 12.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, Adonis is going to use his ranger ability, umbral sight, which lets him have dark vision, which he's going to use to have a much more solid footing in this dark dance hall.

 

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

He gets a 19. That puts y'all at a 16 average. Annie and Ajax, what are you doing?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie would like to use performance for this one.

 

Tau 

Okay, what are you doing?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie knows that with Tango or flamenco, the steps are a lot sharper, but they are kind of also, you can still incorporate some like sweeping motions. So she really is going to let Ajax lead her in this unless for whatever reason he seems to be stumbling, but she's really going to just try and sell it with this.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Ajax is gonna use this athleticism here. He's going to try to let his body be like a really firm anchor by which to move you around. So he is also going to roll.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

What did you get Annie?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

26.

 

Tau 

He got 25.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oo!

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Wow.

 

Tau 

So y'all are sitting on a 26 average at ATM. Alexander and Pandaie?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Okay, so Alexander starts by trying to do some kind of Tango thing and it's feeling awkward and it just doesn't feel right and so he's going to change it up and then start just trying to have fun with it and make it a flamenco thing and then he's lifting his head high up in the air and doing the shuffle heart like sharp steps and and snapping his fingers and he knows it might not look very good, but like he's just trying to have fun with it and uh.

 

Tau 

Oh, that's cute. Oh sorry. So what are you using?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Just gonna be a regular performance.

 

Tau 

Okay, sure, uh, roll for me

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

And it's a seven. (laughs)

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, she is gonna use something called commanding presence. So she's gonna kind of tell you like "No, I think it's supposed to go THIS way. Do it like this."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Oh, yes."

 

Tau 

"Follow me."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"And shimmy there."

 

Michael (Arete) 

So she's gonna roll a d20. Oh, she got a nine. Okay, so your average is an eight. That's how you guys do. Okay, Rolf and Palestrae.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf is going to use his very high insight to read Palestrae's body language and so follow...

 

Michael (Arete) 

(laughs)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

...feeling Palestrae's incredible strength, he's going to follow and play into her desires upping the romance of the dance. And then if the insight goes well, he's hoping that it will end in a dramatic dip in her arms and open himself up for a kiss to wow the audience.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, as you do this dip, Palestrae uses her monk feature slow fall.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

Okay, what did you get in your roll?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

15.

 

Tau 

Okay, she got a 20 so that puts you guys at a solid 18. So yeah, as she does this, you've been spinning her and you dip her, her button comes undone and her long silver hair just comes flowing out behind her as you're holding her in for a kiss. (pause) Do you do it?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Does it happen? Is she is she open to it?

 

Michael (Arete) 

She seems open to it.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Then yes, I do it.

 

Michael (Arete) 

You plant a kiss on Palestrae and you feel something come alive within both of you.

 

[SFX: The crowd gasps. The music ends]

 

Tau 

And then the song ends and rose petals rain on the two of you.

 

[SFX: The crowd cheers.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Awwww.

 

Tau 

And then Koalemos goes "Oh wow. That was that was a lot. My toga is feeling tight. Is it warm in here? Okay."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughing) Oh god.

 

Tau 

"All right, we're gonna move on. We're gonna, we're gonna move on to our next genre. So for this one, you get to do pure pop sensation." So this is gonna be like a very like Carly Rae Jepsen esque, like cardi B. And you can choose your own dance partner for this. So the way you can choose your own dance partner is, you see the lights around your tile are just spiraling out to like everybody. So all of you can decide who you want to dance with.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Uuuuuummm.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

No, wait, no, not, I would go with Palestrae, but after seeing that, they, it looks like they might want to (smiling) stick around together for the next one. So.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs) Can we dance with each other, like our own Olympiad?

 

Michael (Arete) 

You can.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Awww.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I wouldn't Ajax.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Is Ajax gonna be the last one picked?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Awww. Hey! He was really good this last time. I gotta hand it to him.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Did you guys, have you guys picture dance partners?

 

Players 

No.

 

Tau 

Well, you have to pick now.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete kinda like bows his head a little bit, but kinda like looks up at Adonis. And he's like, "Um. Do you care for a second dance?"

 

Tau 

"Um. Oh," and he looks nervously to his right as Ajax literally said the exact same thing to him. And he goes, "Uh, okay, okay. Sure. Yeah, it's cool." And Ajax goes (scoffing) " Yeah. It's totally cool. It's Yeah. Why why would we even like dance at our own Olympiad? It's like we see each other all the time. Yeah, it's like, so cool."

 

Players 

(laughs)

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Awww no! Awww.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I think Rolf is just gonna ask Palestrae "Who are you thinking to dance with? I am terrible at decisions. I don't think I've ever danced before really? Or the kiss, that thing?" (clears his throat)

 

Michael (Arete) 

Palestrae is extremely fit, but you have never seen her out of breath before right now. And she says, "I could have danced all night. I don't know. I'll find anyone. You should pick who you want."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh, that doesn't make, I well, what, who do you want to... um. I think that went well. If you want to dance again?"

 

Tau 

Are you asking her, are you picking her as your partner?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah, yeah, sure if you're interested. Um."

 

Tau 

"Okay."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

No, can I see what Annie's gonna do first?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

No! You go first.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I don't mind but I don't think we did very well so it's it's up to you."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"You want to dance with Ajax?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I don't, if, yeah, if it's, I'll dance with anyone. It won't be good but I'll try."

 

Tau 

Alright, so Alexander, are you asking Ajax?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(rueful) No. I'll let anyone choose.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Oh my gosh!

 

Michael (Arete) 

That's not how this works you're picking so...

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Uuuuggggggh.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Don't be a wallflower, Alexander."

 

Michael (Arete) 

You're hearing this pop song start up.

 

 

[SFX: Poppy music starts playing.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

(whispers) "Don't be a wallflower Alexander. Get out there."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I'll just stick with Pandaie. Weird leaving her in the cold."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah everyone's staying with the partners and then you're like 'Oooo... sorry...'"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yeah, exactly.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's gonna look at Ajax like "Seconds? I mean, I I thought we did pretty well."

 

Tau 

"I think we did great."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Sure. Hey, can I just say?" And she's gonna like lean in and whisper like 'I'm sorry about I'm sorry about Adonis. I know you wanted to dance with him."

 

Tau 

"Oh my god. I think you were, missed seeing that. I don't know what you're talking about."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Oh!"

 

Tau 

"Okay, let's go."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Okay, well, I just I just want to say we could we could take this opportunity to like you know, show show what you got. You know what I mean?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Yeah, I got a lot to show off. All right, let's do this!" So I mean, you could dance this however you want. It's like dancing at a club. But remember, you're dancing to impress people. Arete and Adonis, what's going on?

 

[SFX: Vocals come in with the music.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

I'm going to roll a sleight of hand check as Arete bursts out the hand jive to this pop music, and he hopes that Adonis knows the hand jive as well. And as a bonus action, because I can take a bonus action to dash, as I'm doing a hand jive. "Poseidon, give me some flair."

 

[SFX: Water splashes.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

Then a wave crests and carries me and Adonis. As I'm doing the hand jive and Adonis is doing...

 

Michael (Arete) 

Adonis is going to say, "Lady Artemis, I call for your aide!" And he is going to fire an arrow into the sky..

 

[SFX: THWACK of a string.]

 

Tau 

...and fireworks are going to light up everywhere.

 

[SFX: Fireworks crackle and pop as the crowd cheers.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

So for the sleight of hand, I rolled a 13. Can I use the plus two of the AC from the boon to add plus two to my roll? Question mark?

 

Tau 

Sure.

 

Michael (Arete) 

All right, so that brings it to a 15.

 

Michael (Arete) 

You got a 15, he got an 18. That puts y'all at a 17. Annie and Ajax, what's going on?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

So Annie having seen the spectacle that Arete and Adonis have showed up, she wants to use insight just so she can like gauge, okay, like it's more of like we're showing off, we're not dancing, just have fun. This is actually like a competition. So she would like to lean into Ajax and tell him "Ajax, I need you to throw me. I need you to throw me as hard as you can, as hard as you can!" And if he agrees, then she would like to use the Hephaestus boon and flying speed. Use the fireworks that are going on and like fly throughout them.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, so you want to expend your auto injector?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Heeheehee. Honestly, I am pretty low on health. So yeah, actually, that's probably not a bad idea. I'm not gonna lie.

 

Michael (Arete) 

And the roll you're doing is insight?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yes.

 

Tau 

What are you insighting again?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Insighting a better understanding of what the audience wants.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, so roll that up.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Ohh! A 28! Ahhh!

 

Michael (Arete) 

So the answer that you get is that the audience, for all their cheering and the spectacle is very wrapped up in the intrigue and dramas of the potential social dynamics and romances between the partners.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah.

 

Tau 

So anybody who plays that up will do really well. Ajax goes "I think this is gonna kill you. But okay." And he throws you up as hard as he can...

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs)

 

Tau 

...(laughing) kills you...

 

[SFX: A bloody splort.]

 

Tau 

Your adrenaline autoinjector goes off. I love how we've gone from, I'm gonna put your hands on me where I feel comfortable to fucking kill me! But you feel that autoinjector go off and then you are suddenly flying. You have a flying speed and what do you do with it?

 

[SFX: The crowd goes wild in their cheers.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie is like flipping through the air. She's doing cartwheels through the air. Just she's reveling in it. She loves it and she's blowing kisses to the audience. She's waving to them and if she could, she would, I don't know probably throw money or something.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Beautiful. Everybody loves it. They're clapping, they're cheering. There's confetti falling around you. He gets a 19 which makes your average score I believe a 21. Alexander and Pandaie.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Little underwhelming after that. But Alexander's gonna do what the Egyptians do and walk like an Egyptian and then... wait for (laughs) wait for Pandaie to run at him so that he can pick her up in the air and let her do some poses or something, whatever she wants to do. I'll use athletics for that.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Alright, she's gonna use her evasive footwork in order to make a more impressive dance happen. Right, so what was your role Alexander?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

26.

 

Tau 

Ooo. Everybody's rolling well. Oh, she got a nat 20!

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Okayyy.

 

Tau 

Alright, so your score is a 23. Who's left? Rolf and Palestrae?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf is gonna cast melt minute meteors and they're going to be rotating around him and Palestrae as they're dancing. And then he's going to expend a sorcery point to use careful casting and allow them both to succeed on the saving throw. As he brings the meteors down, and they explode, basically blinding the audience. And every time one of them explodes, they're in a different pose in a different place.

 

[SFX:  A cascade of mini explosions and the crowd cheers.]

 

Tau 

Ooooh, that's cool. Hell yeah. Okay, I'm gonna give inspiration for that, because that's cool.

 

[SFX: Bright DING.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

So I'll take that inspiration.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

And then they'll end in a nice big dramatic embrace, like low down to the ground fully extended.

 

Michael (Arete) 

She's just gonna use her evasion feature, which is specifically for things like melts minute meteors, where she's just coolly dodging out of all these meteors and shit.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

Alright, what did you get?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That's a four. So I'm going to expend my inspiration.

 

[SFX: Bright DING.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

And that's a 17!

 

Tau 

Hell yeah, she got a 19 so your average is an 18. The music finally dies down the cheering dies down. And Koalemos says "Oh, wow, that is a dance party for the GODS. Speaking of, I think you've got a little gift from somebody over there." and then the disco ball that he's in cracks open.

 

[SFX: Glass cracks and SHATTERS.]

 

Tau 

He flies up and you see like a crystal with the purple wine glass float down to you guys.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Sweet. Um, so do only one of us get it?"

 

Tau 

(Palestrae) "I think we all earned it."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yeah, ah. Good work out there."

 

Tau 

"Yeah, good job."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Yeah."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"It was fun."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Who wants to do the honors?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Let's let's all touch it together."

 

Tau 

Ajax throws his hand on the crystal.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I also throw my hand on the crystal.

 

Tau 

Excellent. So does everybody else.

 

[SFX: A quiet but intense woosh. Followed but silence a moment before the sounds of a party fade in.]

 

Tau 

Okay, so alright, so you hear the sounds of good cheer. The smell of wine fills the air. You hear a bachanal happening somewhere in the distance. And then on a floaty dark purple cloud, you see this very built figure reclining with like a wreath of grapes around him. (a deep lilting voice) "Now that's what I call it dance off. I haven't seen anybody liven up that dreary dive bar now there's this my old pal started breaking urns and taking names down there. Say, you shades over there. Can old Dionysus count on you to keep the party going?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Absolutely."

 

Tau 

You can choose between a power boon, a survivability boon, or a utility boon.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Should we be survivable?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I'm inclined to survivable. I will say well we don't have any power boons at the moment."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"And they do help with surviving."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Well we have a survival, we have a utility, so I guess we can get a power."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Ehh, sure. Why not? Let's spice it up."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"A power boon from Dionysus ought to be very interesting."

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

This is a common power boon from Dionysus. You inflict hangover when you deal damage to enemies. So the way hangover works is that it applies up to 10 stacks. Each single stack of hangover, the way it works is that at the end of that creature's turn, they take the amount of damage equal to the number of stacks that they have of hangover. Ahen you deal damage to a creature, you apply one stack of hangover. Furthermore, at the end of each creature's turn, they can remove up to 1d4 stacks of hangover.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Tight! Thanks Dionysus."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Thank you Dionysus."

 

Michael (Arete) 

You just hear that like fucking like club noise that...

 

[SFX: Air horn, bow bow booow.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Aw yeah.

 

Tau 

...as the cloud dissipates but you're still in a dance hall. You also see a gate leading out of the dance hall and on that gate you see a red spear point and a golden shield.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(dreading) Oh .

 

Tau 

And a skull and crossbones.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

So there's three gates?

 

Michael (Arete) 

Nope just one.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

It's another challenge of the gods.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

You said a shield?

 

Michael (Arete) 

It's a golden shield, a red spear point.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oh (singing) fuck me in the ass! Oh no! No, no!

 

Michael (Arete) 

This is the Bard action I've always wanted, this is what I want, Amanda, do this all the time.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Fellow Olympiad, y'all want to come through this portal with us and let's all face off against the gods together, eh?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

(Palestrae) "I don't think it works like that. I think it's you can really only call on each other using like that little doll that Adonis gave you so sweetly for example."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right." (laughs bashfully)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Um, before we go throw ourselves as cannon fodder to a god..."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"You're right."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"How's everyone doing? You know, health wise."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"I used the Hephaestus Boon, so I'm feeling pretty good."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I'm also feeling great."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I'm feeling a little under halfway."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"As am I, and I think I'm going to fix that right now." So I'm gonna lay on hands for 29 on myself.

 

[SFX: Ethereal notes.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Wow. I guess I'll use false life on myself. Rolf is gonna produce some third level vapors (inhales deeply) as he breathes in 16 points of false life.

 

Tau 

Nice.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Let's make a cha cha line out of this room into the gate. Like everybody likes lines up together to chachachachaCHA.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Say less," and Rolf gets in line.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Palestrae calls and says, "Oh Rolf?"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yes Palestrae?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Um, be careful out there."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"(gently) You you too. And nice nice work and a good moves with your self."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Wow, you sound so much younger now. Very spry. (laughs)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(clears his throat) "Yes."

 

Tau 

She nods.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Um, perhaps we can dance again. Sometime."

 

Tau 

"Hmm."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(to the team) "Cha cha, yes?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(sings the cha cha music)

 

Michael (Arete) 

And as Arete starts to cha cha with the rest of the Olympiad, he gives a like a friendly wave over his shoulder and a big old smile to Adonis.

 

Michael (Arete) 

You wave to Adonis who is in deep conversation with Ajax.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oh, noooo. Okay. Oh, I have a question.

 

Tau 

Yeah.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Did we, did our scores mean anything?

 

Tau & Nicholas 

Nope!

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Aw yeah. All right and with that knowledge Annie's gonna keep on cha cha ing real smooth. Let's go.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(laughs)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Your competitive nature is your downfall.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Hey! Hey, hey, that's you. That's all you dog. Cha cha real smooth.

 

[SFX: The portal scrapes open.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo.

 

Tau 

Are you all in the portal?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yes.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yes.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

Yes.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yes.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(laughs) We all cha cha-ed in there.

 

Tau 

You find yourself in the same room you last had a trial of the gods. On the far right corner of the room, you see the icon of Athena and on the far bottom left you see the icon of Ares.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Here's a question. How do we feel about Ares, period?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"You know, he failed me the last time but I think Athena did as well. So."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Wait, what do you, wait wait. What do you mean by fail? What do you mean by failed?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Well, we lost or we didn't lose but we died and all that was left was Rolf. And then when I called Athena to help aid me in my stealthy pursuits..."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(laughs)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"...I was also failed in that."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(suspicious) Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Totally her fault. And that's on her. So I will let you choose whoever, they're both good on the battlefield. I suppose."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"I hate these. If I'm going to I'm going to be completely honest. I hate picking between them. It makes me sad and it hurts my heart. But because we have to decide, I will agree with whatever you all want."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"So you're not deciding."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Nope, I'm letting you do it and I will agree."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I'm deciding not to decide."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Exactly! Thank you."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Right well, tactically four health per hit is not a lot but an extra die of damage is a lot. So..."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Yes. But so far our greatest hurdle has been dying."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I understand but a four health does not stop losing 26 health much like per hit."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"No, but over time, it does go a long way toward reducing it, even if you're getting hit for 20 a pop. That's a 25% reduction. 20%."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"I know I said I wasn't going to decide, but it sounds like, both of which are from Aries. So I think you want."

 

Nicholas & Giancarlo 

"Yes yeah."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"No, I'm just saying if we if we know what we're going to do..."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"We also don't know what the other Athena boons do nor do we know what the utility boon for Ares does. So we have other options not to further complicate the already very contentious choice amongst the group."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"That's very true. I am certainly open to... I would assume Athena might actually have a better survivability boon. I'm just asking it seems like Ares served us well, I meant long term if we were interested."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Yeah."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Honestly, if you were not frozen I think we would have been, not that it's your fault."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"No, no, you're you're right. If I had not been frozen, we would have aced that."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Yes."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Well, do we feel confident angering him just to see what Athena has and then when we've proven ourselves in battle, perhaps offering a gift?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Well Rolf, I will say it is tempting to defeat the god of war."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"It's a little harsh although it's also it's hubris. Absolutely."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Whatever you two loonies want to do, I'm down."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Oh, God. Alexander?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"The tactician says aid with him and his power, but the competitive nature in me thirsts for his blood."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"You want to go with Ares. You know, you want to go with Ares."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"You think so?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"I think so. I think you want to"

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"All right. It seems like the group has arrived at a Ares consensus."

 

Michael (Arete) 

Alright, so what do you do?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I'll touch for the power one.

 

Tau 

You touch the bottom left corner, which has Ares' icon. You hear distant drumbeats and armies marching and the air becomes thick with the smell of blood. And then you see a singular figure walking through the fog of war as it speaks to you in your mind and says "Athena thinks herself better than me because she believes wisdom outranks brute force. We will show her she is incorrect." Select a power, survivability, or utility boon. Also roll a d4.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Power, it is a three.

 

Tau 

Okay this is an epic level boon. Your attacks spell certain doom for your enemies that epic rarity, you deal three additional damage dice on all damaging effects.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Perfect.

 

Tau 

As he's saying this suddenly the sound of the drum beats stops and the armies stop marching and the fog of war becomes thick with the smell of incense and the sound of looms weaving and the shield icon explodes on the other side of the room. And you see a little gold and purple mechanical owl flitting around and through it a voice speaks. "Tactical errors have grave consequences. My dear cousin Zagreus had to learn this lesson many times and now I will ensure I impart this wisdom to you as well."


[SFX: Outro music.]

 

ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood, stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon Mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Audio editing by Daniel Manning. Sound design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C., with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. Transcription by Eli Barraza.

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